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Not often you actually want to see crap advertising but here’s a good use of it:
No one who sees that van driving past is likely to forget they’ve seen it!
Technorati Tags: crap, funny, humor, humour, sewage engineer, van
A stranger to Glasgow met his pal at the station. It was obvious that someone had recently punched his face. His pal asked, “What on earth happened to you then?”
The chap replied, “I’ve no idea why, but a barmaid just belted me in the face! I was just killing a bit of time in a pub and my luggage bag was in the way so I asked the barman if he would mind keeping it behind the bar. He was happy to do this. When I went back to collect it later, this barmaid was on duty. All I said to her was, ‘Any chance of getting my holdall?’ and she hit me!”
This is an interesting one…
Imagine a disk spinning like a record player turn table. Half of the disk is black and the other is white. Assume you have an unlimited number of colour sensors. How many sensors would you have to place around the disk to determine the direction the disk is spinning? Where would they be placed?
So does anyone feel lucky or know the answer without the assistance of Google?
Of course I had to correct the dodgy spelling of Microsoft US. Note to all Americans, colour has a “u”! Who’d have thought a whole nation could be dyslexic!
Technorati Tags: interview question, spinning disk, Microsoft
Enough said, so let’s move onto the picture!
On behalf of the guys, I’d like to thank Tech Chick for the photo.
Technorati Tags: Mac, hottie, Tech Chick
At last we know the truth about Glasgow Airport.
Click on the image below to see the story unfold.
Technorati Tags: Back to the Future, Glasgow Airport, John Smeaton, terrorism
We all know how the jokes start to flow after terror events so here’s a sample of the best so far:
Did you here that MacDonalds have announced the introduction of their new ‘Flaming MacMuslim Burger’ but regret it’s currently only available at the Glasgow Airport Drive Thru.
A car driven by muslims has reportedly been driven into the Ullswater reservoir. The police say its not linked to the London or Glasgow (Abbotsinch) car ‘bombs’, they believe its the start of RamaDam.
Police have named the terrorist as ‘Sinjed Maheed’!!!!
An Asian NHS doctor won the lottery at the weekend. It is a shame that he can not claim though… He burnt his ticket in a vehicle fire!
The terrorist who wiz driving the jeep at the airport is in hospital reciting poems and eating haggis and shortbread for dinner. Apparently he’s in the Burns unit.
1 can of petrol 5 quid
2 calor gas bottles 42 quid
2nd hand jeep two and a half grand
watchin a suicide bomber burn while
a glaswegian knocks lumps out of him….fuckin priceless.
The UN are consulting with Mr Smeaton about him reversing the effects of global warming. He was quoted as saying ‘Peice of pish!’
Only in Glasgow can some guy who sets out on a ?holy jihad? and destiny with 84 virgins in paradise end up on fire from head to toe, having a square go with a bystander and getting maced by the police. Get it right up you, mate! lol
Only in Glasgow do suicide bombers need rescuing from the locals by the Police.
Only in Glasgow when you pop out for a ciggy can you get a lite off a burning suicide bomber’s head.
Contrast the way terrorist attacks are handled by eyewitnesses in Glega compared with the US.
America:
“Oh my God! there was a man on fire, he was running about, I just ran
for my life..I thought I was gonna die, he got so close to me”
Glasgow:
“C*nt wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot,
then decked him”
America:
“I just wanna get home, away from here.. I just wanna get home, I
thought I was gonna die”
Glasgow:
“here shug, am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin? plane!”
America:
“there was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn?t
know what was happening, I thought I was gonna die”
Glasgow:
“F*ck this fir a kerry oan, moan we?ll get a pint in”
America:
“We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister, and was
trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were gonna die, I just ran
for my life”
Glasgow:
“a swaggered by the motor that wis on fire, and the dafty couldnae even
open his boot, he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot
to the baws”
America:
“there was this huge explosion, it sounded like war, I thought I was
gonna die”
Glasgow:
“There wis a bang, yi know when yi throw BO basher intae a fire it wis
like that”
America:
“I’m too traumatized even to speak, I thought I was going to die”
Glasgow:
“here mate, gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan
the telly a want her tae tape it”
There was a young scotsman called Smeaton,
Who gave Al Queda a beatin,
he booted their baws,
in front of the law,
and left the cunts lying there greetin.
Technorati Tags: funny, Glasgow Airport, humor, humour, John Smeaton, terrorism
Need I say more…
A blog dedicated to the Glasgow Airport hero John Smeaton.
I see Michael Kerr, one of the other guys who went in with the boot, but came a cropper and damaged his leg, has been on BBC Scotland news. Good on ya mucker.
The Lone Voice blog has some more details on another of the heroes at this incident.
Technorati Tags: hero, Glasgow, Glasgow Airport, John Smeaton, terrorism
Murrayfield-DAFS Cricket Club has an interesting webpage which shows the current injury / treatment status of the sidelined players. At the moment, you’ve got to feel for Stormin Norman!
Replicated here for posterity and because he will one day be fit again. Hope the winkie gets better soon :-).
Technorati Tags: cricket, injury, Murrayfield-DAFS, pain, Stormin Norman, treatment
One of the Groktalks at DDD5 was given by a young team from a local university and was all about their project to make the introduction of programming to youngsters more interesting. According to Hamish, their project is aimed at the 7- 11 age group. I’ll defer to his knowledge on the subject, as all I can remember from the guys was “key stage” this and “key stage” that - WTF is a “key stage”?
They asked for any comments and tips and I’m pleased to give this one…
DO NOT PICK YOUR NOSE, EVEN IF SOMEONE ELSE IS PRESENTING
Good luck to the guys for the international leg of the competition, which I believe is the Imagine Cup (again, info from Hamish’s blog).
Technorati Tags: DDD5, DeveloperDeveloperDeveloper, Groktalk, Imagine Cup, My First Programming Language, nose picking, presenting, presentation tip
This made me chuckle…
Thank goodness there is journalistic integrity somewhere in this world! She’s my hero as the anti-Paris!
What’s even better is that Mika Brzezinski is a real hottie with brains, integrity and at least a modicum of morality, well as much as journalists can ever have without losing their parasitic tendancies.
Technorati Tags: Mika Brzezinski, Morning Joe, Paris Hilton, YouTube
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