Grumbling Tummy

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1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo.

2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet.

3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand or sit on the lid.

4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will produce generate plenty of foam. Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying himself.

5. After several minutes flush the toilet to start the “Power-wash” pre-wash and then flush again for the main wash cycle.

6. Ask someone to open the front door and ensure that no-one is between the toilet and the front door.

7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly. The cat will dry off naturally due to the high speed he will be moving from the toilet to the front door.

8. The toilet and the cat are now both clean.

With best wishes,
The Dog

And here are the photographs to prove it:

Don’t know where this originated but I’ve got to say it is genius.

Technorati Tags: cat, dog, funny, humor, humour, toilet cleaning

Not often you get this over on YouTube, but embedding of this video clip has been disabled - WTF! Never mind, go visit and enjoy the scenery and people! What a bunch of wee fannies!

… and in case you didn’t understand the lingo, here’s a training video:

Technorati Tags: gangs, Glasgow, neds, YouTube, wee fannies

Technorati Tags: Chewin the Fat, funny, humor, humour

This is a classic piece of Scots humour.

Ricky Fulton was a genius.

Technorati Tags: funny, humor, humour, Ricky Fulton, Scotch and Wry

For all those men who say, “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free!”, here’s an update for you: Now a days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like….

1. Laxatives …… They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. The weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Blenders You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.

5. Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Commercials ……. You can’t believe a word they say.

7. Department Stores … Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Government Bonds .. They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Popcorn …. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Snowstorms .. You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

12. Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!

Technorati Tags: joke, humor, humour, men gags

I’ll let you decide, although I know which one Barnze would favour!

Cat genocide trivia

Technorati Tags: Barnze, cats, genocide

It is a disgrace! Someone should be heading to jail for putting someone’s baby in such imminent danger! This has got to be against the law, surely?

Technorati Tags: baby, cute, doggie carrier, scooter