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Yet again the Competition Commission has failed to deal with the big bully boy supermarkets. They failed to deal with the issues of how the supermarkets are killing local small businesses and in particular the High Street!

Yes, they’ve done more this time around than previous investigations, but the bullies are still going to be in a position to cripple their small business suppliers, the small business competition and the High Street in general.

Have a look here for the BBC’s report on it.

Sign this No10 Downing Street petition if you’d like to see some change:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Secure the future of small shops across the UK and safeguard the choice and competition that people expect in the market place

Go on, spend a minute to save your local shops and businesses.

Technorati Tags: BBC, Competition Commission, High Street, petition, supermarket

Even if you don’t own a dog at present, you’ll appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog. Read the sales pitch!!! 

Dog For Sale

Free to good home.

Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighbourhood for him to eat. Most of them knew him as ‘Holy Shit.’

Technorati Tags: dog, humour, humor, sales notice

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic bin bags, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags and once in a while a £20 note flies out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her. “Madam, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag…”

“Damn!” says the little old lady….”I’d better go back and see if I can find some of them. Thanks for the warning!”

“Well, now, not so fast,” says the policeman. “How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?”

“Oh, no”, says the little old lady. “You see, my back garden backs onto the car park of the football stadium. Each time there’s a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!” So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his thingie through the bushes, I grab it and I say: ‘£20 or off it comes!’ “

“Hey, not a bad idea!” laughs the cop. “Good luck!” By the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Well”, says the little old lady, “Not all of them pay.”

Technorati Tags: funny, humour, humor, joke, little old lady, policeman

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can’t stand it any longer, and goes to her supervisor to file a s*xual harassment complaint. She tells the supervisor what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a s*xual harassment suit against him.

The supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, “What’s s*xually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice”?

The woman replies, “It’s Keith, the dwarf.”

Blog Editor Note
I had to search if dwarf or midget was the correct term to use in these PC times. I’m still left wondering, but it is such a small issue that I now only have the tiniest of concern!

Technorati Tags: dwarf, funny, humour, humor, joke, sexual harassment

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.

Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them: “It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro, Quattro means four”

“Quattro is just the name of the automobile,” the Englishman retorts disbelievingly. “Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five persons.”

“You cannot pull that one on me,” replies Paddy, “Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.”

The Englishmen replies angrily, “You idiot! Call your supervisor over I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!”

“Sorry,” responds Paddy, “Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.”

Technorati Tags: Audi, Fiat, funny, humour, humor, Irishmen, joke, Quattro, Uno

Paddy the Irishman died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. The Morgue
needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean
(also Irishmen), were sent for.

Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Seamus said, “Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over”.

So the mortician rolled him over.

Seamus looked and said, “Nope, it ain’t Paddy”.

The mortician thought that was rather strange, but said nothing and asked Sean in to identify the body.

Sean took a look at him and said, “Yup, he’s burnt real bad, roll him over”

The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, “No, it ain’t
Paddy”.

The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”

Sean said, “Well, Paddy had two ar**holes.”

“What, he had two ar**holes?!!” said the mortician.

“Yup, everyone knew he had two ar**holes. Every time we went into town,
folks would say, ‘Here comes Paddy with them two Ar**holes….’”

Technorati Tags: funny, humour, humor, Irishmen, joke

I’ve been informed that the original news agency report, that was picked up by the main stream press, got some of the facts surround this story a little muddled. This blog post has been modified to reflect the corrections starting to appear from the main stream press. As part of the update, we’d like to point out the originally quoted BBC news article still needs to be modified (as of the 24th May) and instead point you over to the Daily Mail updated story and Guardian article that starts with a correction.

What the f&*k! It would appear we have individuals that brings street dogs from Sri Lanka to the UK. It is bizarre that UK import regulation allows this in the first place when Sri Lanka is a known hotspot for Rabies. Turns out that one of the latest batch of puppies from that very country had Rabies and may have infected three people involved in its care.

One of the individuals involved in this incident also runs a UK charity setup to help animals out in Sri Lanka. It should be made clear that the charity, Animal SOS Sri Lanka, wasn’t involved in this particular case as was reported by the main stream press and picked up by myself and the blogsphere at the time.

Now back to the main points of the blog post that were kicked off by reading the original news reports and remain substantively in their original form regardless of who may or may not have brought the infected animal into the UK….

Woof!

Some important questions I’d like to see answered of those individual who feel the need to import stray dogs:

1. Don’t we have enough dogs looking for homes already in the UK?

2. Why import more from a country that is known to be a Rabies hotspot?

3. Don’t we put down enough dogs in the UK every day because we can’t rehome them?

4. Are the dogs flown into the UK thereby contributing to global warming?

The saving grace behind this story is the UK’s system to keep Rabies out of Britain appears to work a treat. Kudos to the people who thought up our quarantine controls.

Now it is fingers crossed time for the three workers that they don’t go all foamy mouthed and start snarling at passing cars!

Technorati Tags: Animal SOS Sri Lanka, BBC, charity, dog, puppy, rabid, Rabies, Sri Lanka

After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo  (He doesn’t travel light) the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver,  ‘Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’

‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I’d really like to drive today.’

‘I’m sorry but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job!  And what if something should happen?’ protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning.

‘There might be something extra in it for you,’ says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

‘Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!’ pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

‘Oh, dear God, I’m gonna lose my license,’ moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

‘So bust him,’ says the Chief

‘I don’t think we want to do that - he’s really  important,’ said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, ‘All the more reason!’

‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop.

The Chief then asked, ‘Who have you got there, the Mayor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘Governor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘Who is it?’

Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’

Chief: ‘What makes you think it’s God?’

Cop: ‘He’s got the f**ing Pope as a chauffeur!’

Technorati Tags: funny, humour, humor, Pope, religion

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director ‘how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised’.

‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.’

‘Oh, I understand,’ said the visitor. ‘A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.’

‘No.’ said the Director, ‘A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?’

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

Technorati Tags: bathtub, funny, humor, humour, joke

Where’s Bob Geldof when you need him?

Dig deep and help with this important charitable cause!

Technorati Tags: Bob Geldhof, funny, Hardly News, humour, humor, Trisha Walsh Smith

Interestingly, TWS has removed her original video by the looks of things! There are plenty more copies now available on YouTube.

Technorati Tags: funny, humour, humor, parody, Trisha Walsh Smith

Don’t know where this "came" from but it is perfect spoiler material!

Technorati Tags: Brokeback Mountain, cowboy, funny, gay, humour, humour

This is the sickest sex video ever produced!

Technorati Tags: funny, humour, humor, sex video, sleazy

Lawyers should never ask grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’re a big disappointment to me You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He’s lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said, "If either of you f#ckers asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair."

Technorati Tags: funny, grandma, humour, humor, joke, lawyers

A wee update on the earlier TWS post, no not Total Whore Sucubus, but Trisha Walsh-Smith, the latest big video on YouTube and now a general Internet phenomenon, but not in a good way!

Boy, oh boy!!! Did she get it well wrong, or did she get it well wrong? Well wrong it will be then! The vast majority of the feedback on the Internet has derided her antics, but there are remnants of sympathy for this shallow money grabbing schemer. My personal favourite in the "I Love TWS" camp is this "who at all the pies" clueless lesbo:

Perhaps if she actually knew TWS before coming to her own conclusion then she wouldn’t look like such a complete c*nt today. A Mail on Sunday news article says it all about the character and morals of this attention seeking sucubus. Even if only a small portion of it is true then she really isn’t a nice person and doesn’t deserve our empathy / sympathy.

Philip J. Smith you need to use all your fortune to defeat this woman and show this kind of behaviour is unacceptable. We don’t want to see YouTube full of this kind of rude and inappropriate material. She cannot be allowed to win… do you hear us Philip, under no circumstances must she be allowed to win!

Technorati Tags: Philip J. Smith, Philip Smith, sucubus, Trish Walsh-Smith, Trish Walsh Smith, YouTube