29 May, 2008
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Anyone remember Dick Dastardly and Muttley?
No? This YouTube video, from the opening credits of “Dastardly and Muttley in their Flying Machines”, might remind you!
Seems their dastardly mission was a success at last! This little fellow (photo below) was spotted a few weeks back taking a pitstop in my Freuchie garden.
That’s the second time such an incident has happened within the confines of my garden! The last time, the pigeon refused to “move along” and continue on its homeward flight to Falkirk. A local pigeon fancier had to come and retrieve the little fellow. He told me it had probably been scared out the air by a hawk and most likely wasn’t brave enough to take flight again for fear of being a main course! Sounds more chicken than pigeon!
Technorati Tags: Dastardly and Muttley, Freuchie, hawk, pigeon
23 May, 2008
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,’ said the wife.
The fairy waved her magic wand and — poof! Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment, and then said, ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and — poof! The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story:
Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.
Technorati Tags: fairy, funny, humour, humor, husband, wife
23 May, 2008
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
“What was that for?” the man asked.
The wife replied “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket”.
The man then said “When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name
of the horse I bet on”
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied, “Your horse phoned!”
Technorati Tags: funny, humour, humor, joke
16 May, 2008
The Manchester Piccadilly Gardens big screen failure has eventually been diagnosed. A photo has been taken of the reason for it breaking on the day of the UEFA Cup Final between FC Zenit and Rangers Football Club.
Technorati Tags: Celtic, humour, humor, joke, Manchester, Rangers, UEFA Cup
16 May, 2008
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,and all the patients seemed to be outside and were shouting ,’13…..13….13′.
The fence was too high to see over,but I saw a knot hole in one of the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick then they all started shouting ‘14….14….14…’.
Technorati Tags: humour, humor, joke
11 May, 2008
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman’s chair, and said in a rather stern voice, ‘Skippy!’
The woman thought, ‘This is great!’ and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.?
This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, ‘Skippy!’
Once again the woman smiled and thought ‘Yes!’
A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn’t even think about it. She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, ‘Skippy, get away from her, before she sh*ts on you!’
Technorati Tags: joke, humor, humour
11 May, 2008
Just try this. It is from an orthopaedic surgeon………… This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can’t. It’s pre-programmed in your brain!
1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number ‘6′ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!
I told you so!!! And there’s nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you’ve not already done so. Send it to your buddies to frustrate them too.
Technorati Tags: foot, trick
9 May, 2008
Some more dance music for those not going clubbing this weekend!
Technorati Tags: DJ Flavours, Your Caress, DJ Tiesto, Ayla, Flip & Fill, True Love Never Dies, Inner City, Pennies from Heaven, Ultrabeat, Elysium (I Go Crazy), Sure Feels Good to Me
8 May, 2008
.. then it looks like I’d be voting for a democrat this time around!
90% Chris Dodd
89% John Edwards
87% Barack Obama
86% Hillary Clinton
84% Joe Biden
77% Dennis Kucinich
76% Mike Gravel
74% Bill Richardson
49% Rudy Giuliani
41% John McCain
31% Mitt Romney
28% Mike Huckabee
26% Tom Tancredo
21% Ron Paul
17% Fred Thompson
2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz
Technorati Tags: Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz, US Election
6 May, 2008
Keep watching, even the credits!
Technorati Tags: boob implants, funny, humour, humour, Small talk
