Just Joan Problem
FROM-DAILY RECORD PROBLEM PAGE
Dear Joan
I am a crack dealer in Greenock who recently has been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Paisley , and one of my sisters who lives in Ferguslie Park , is married to a transvestite. My mother and father have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and is currently dependant on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes at Blythewood Square.
I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Peterhead for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is being held in the Barlinnie jail on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Aberdeen and is still a “part time working girl” in a brothel. Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and hopefully the heroin habits that they are so deeply involved with.
All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my distant cousin who is a Celtic Season Ticket Holder ???
Signed
S from Greenock
