Easterhouse Mum
A woman walks into the Easterhouse benefits office, trailed by 15 kids…
‘WOW, ‘ the social worker exclaims, ‘ Are they ALL yours?
‘They are all mine, ‘ the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, ‘ Sit down Terry. ‘
All the children rush to find seats.
‘ Well, ‘ says the social worker, ‘ then you must be here to sign up. I’ll need all of your children’s names. ‘
‘ This one’s my oldest – he’s Terry. ‘
‘OK, and who’s next? ‘
‘Well, this one, he’s also Terry. ‘
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri.
‘All right, ‘ says the caseworker. ‘ I ‘ m seeing a pattern here. Just what’s going on? Are they ALL named the same or what?’
Their Mother replied, ‘ Well, aye -it makes it easier. When it ‘ s time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I just shout ‘Terry! ‘ When it’s time for their dinner, I just yell ‘ Terry! ‘ an ‘ they all come runnin’.An’ if I need to stop the wean who’s running into the street, I just bawl ‘Terry!’ and all of them stop. It’s well the smartest idea I’ve ever had, namin ‘ them all the same eh? ‘
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, ‘But what if you just want ONE child to come, and not the whole lot, what do you do?’
The Mother looks at her agog and says….. ‘Eh hello! I call them by their surnames!’
