Grumbling Tummy

Whether (Con) Liberal or Labour , I think you’ll get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’

Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night,! he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say’s to his father, ‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ‘

The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’

The little boy replies, ‘The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.’

Technorati Tags: Conservative, government, humour, humor, joke, Labour, Lib Dem, politics

Looks like our MPs need more communications budget to pay for bandwidth! Under the magnifying glass Julie Kirkbride MP has been taken off the Internet as her hosting package doesn’t meet the needs of the electorate. Perhaps fate is hinting at the future awaiting this MP.

  
Screenshot: Julie Kirkbride’s website displays an error

The Lone Voice pointed out earlier that Nadine Dorries’ blog had also fallen off the Internet.

 
Screenshot: Nadine Dorries’ blog 404s

Regardless, I think we should all put our hands into our pocket to help out these public servant… no wait, our pockets have already been dipped by a criminal gang working out of Westminster.

Technorati Tags: Houses of Parliament, Julie Kirkbride, MP, Nadine Dorries, politics, The Lone Voice, Westminster

I can’t believe the media didn’t spot the fact that the Communities Minister, Hazel Blears MP, had a worthless cheque for £13k in her hands the other day! It didn’t have a payee on it!

Still not sure if it is a blank payee?

Looks very much like no payee details!

For Hazel’s benefit, the taxman is called “HMRC” or “Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs”. Heck they probably would also accept “The Capital Gains Bastards”! Here’s hoping she can now finish off that cheque and get it into the post ASAP following my little piece of advice. The country desperately needs this kind of cash in the current financial crisis caused and overseen by the people in power.

I realise many MPs will all be struggling about who collects the taxes of the sheep and plebs so I count this blog post as a public service to the 650 odd “Honourable Members” that attend the mother fucker of all Parliaments, located in that modest wee building in Westminster.

One further tip….Try to avoid numbered Swiss bank account numbers and Cayman Island bank accounts in the payee part of any cheques written out to the taxman.

I really can’t wait for the next general election so the mass cull of all these political parasites can begin.

Technorati Tags: Hazel Blears, HMRC, MP, Westminster

The Barber –
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen different books, such as ‘How to Improve Your Business’ and ‘Becoming More Successful.’

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.

Via: The Lone Voice

Technorati Tags: humor, humour, joke, Parliament

Funny stuff…

Via Pinksy.

Technorati Tags: elf, humour, humor, joke, Obama

This is an interesting article about the current recession and how it won’t end up in depression. Even more interesting is some of the analysis!

Technorati Tags: depression, recession

Earlier today I interviewed Mike Russell MSP, the Scottish Government Minister for the Environment, for Freuchie Flood Action Group at the launch event for the Scottish Flood Forum.

You can read the full story and see the short video here.

Yet again, an SNP politician has left a lasting impression on me.

Technorati Tags: Freuchie Flood Action Group, Mike Russell MSP, politics, SNP

Thanks to the Lone Voice for this one….

Three doctors are bragging about their country’s medical achievements.

The Israeli doctor starts by saying “medicine in my country is so advanced we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him up and looking for work in six weeks”.

The German doctor says “that’s nothing, in Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks”.

Not to be out done the English doctor says, “we can take an arsehole out of Scotland, put him in 10 Downing Street, and have half the fucking country looking for work within 24 hours”.

Here’s hoping the good folk of Glenrothes makes the right choice in a few weeks!

Technorati Tags: funny, humour, humor, joke, politics

Strange how the plot never changes!

Technorati Tags: 2D TV, Gordon Brown, Labour, Tony Blair

The truth is starting to surface about how the British public, and Scottish citizens in particular, have been deceived about North Sea oil. Luckily, the word is out and thanks to the Internet we can find out the real facts and correct the misconceptions that have been allowed to fester for too long.

Everyone should read the Conservative commissioned McCrone Report that was classified as “Top Secret” for 30 years due to its sensitivity. The report and other suppressed and misrepresented facts and figures are available HERE.

Hayley Millar of BBC Scotland recently produced a programme titled, “Truth, Lies, Oil and Scotland”. Her report spells it out and I’ll leave it with you to watch this important investigation, warts and all! More information here.

Spread the word, spread the truth!

Technorati Tags: BBC Scotland, Conservative, Hayley Millar, McCrone Report, North Sea Oil

At last the people of Glasgow East has woken up to New Tories Labour and voted in an MP and a party that truly does care about them.  For those of you who don’t want to know the result, you may wish to look away now! Labour supporters and Gordon Brown may also wish to click away to some propaganda blog saying that this is a vote on the economy, not some kind of referendum on the government.

To summarise the result:

More analysis and information is available on the BBC website.

So the winning candidate is John Mason with a voting swing of 22.54% from Labour to the SNP, but the real winners are the people of Glasgow East. At least the recount called by Magrat Curran and her loser croonies was performed efficiently and quickly!

One of my friends, who has voted SNP a good deal longer than myself, commented a while back on how people in the West of Scotland have a fatalist loyalty to Labour and will often vote for them because their father and their father’s father voted that way. However, tonight they’ve broken the bad habit of many generations and done themselves, their area and the whole of Scotland proud.

Today’s hero

Photo: John Mason MP for Glasgow East

Congratulations and gratitude to my fellow Scottish citizens of Glasgow East for sending a message to the Labour government, who only care about your vote, not you as an individual. John Mason MP will be representing you full time and have the ear of people in Scotland who can make real positive changes for your area.

Now we wait to see the truth behind some of the speculation over the David Marshall resignation that caused this bye-election in the first place! There are some big signs that something is coming down the pipeline about this particular ex-MP.

Technorati Tags: bye-election, David Marshall, Glasgow East, John Mason, Labour, SNP

Anyone wonder why Nu Labour had to go through all those prospective candidates for the Glasgow East constituency before Magrat Curran came riding in on her white charger? It did seem like they couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery as prospective candidate after prospective candidate turned down one of the safest Nu Labour seats in the country.

Perhaps this is the reason they all declined!! All the main names in the frame to be a candidate, including Councillor George Ryan and Councillor Stephen Purcell, Leader of the Council, seem to be listed in that article as being under investigation by the Standards Commission of Scotland.

Wonder why this story got missed by the main stream media? Don’t the people of Glasgow deserve to know this kind of information before they go to the polling booths?

Technorati Tags: George Ryan, Glasgow South East, Labour, Margaret Curran, Standards Commission, Stephen Purcell

The BBC has a comprehensive round up of quotes from various politicians and political commentators where is it obvious who’s being partisan. However, one stands out from the rest as it is from an unbiased academic with no axe to grind.

JOHN CURTICE, STRATHCLYDE UNIVERSITY POLITICS PROFESSOR

The real problem is Wendy Alexander’s leadership more broadly was not much of a success.

Her performances in First Minister’s Questions against the First Minister Alex Salmond were widely criticised for being rather weak.

Secondly, her attempt to push the Labour Party where it is in a position where it said it wanted a referendum on independence and it wanted a referendum quickly, contradicting Gordon Brown’s position, that undoubtedly weakened her position.

Thirdly, in truth the lesson of this story is that Wendy Alexander actually mismanaged dealing with the problem of her leadership finance campaign once the story first emerged.

But my favourite comment so far was from fidothedog in response to my earlier Tribute to Wee Wendy blog post:

There is a point that without Labour to mock, the flaws of the SNP will be exposed. Although they have some, I am sure that it would take some serious fuckwittery to get to the level of Wendy & co in New Labour.

I just love the way that she gets caught, lies, gets exposed, then go’s on the attack, gets shown up for lying again, hauled up before the committee and then leaves.

Oh and whilst leaving denies all wrongdoing, blames everyone else and acts like a spoiled twat.

Still I see a book deal or somesuch aka Levy, puker Prescott, Pasha Blair etc etc.

Wendy Alexander needs to ask herself who placed the first dagger in her back. Who was involved in the initial leak about the dodgy donations? Could it perhaps be a New Labour insider? Perhaps not everyone in New Labour thought she was leadership material.

Let’s give the last word, for the time being, to Nicola Sturgeon, Deputy First Minister:

It’s not partisan, it’s not party political, it’s simply a decision taken based on that independent report.

“But clearly this event does signal the deep disintegration now happening to Labour north and south of the border. The key point is that they are disintegrating from within.

So Wendy, perhaps the deepest stab wounds were done with a New Labour partisan dagger “before thee”.

Technorati Tags: John Curtis, Nicola Sturgeon, Scottish Parliament, Wendy Alexander

In light of the resignation of Wendy Alexander as the Leader of the Labour Group in the Scottish Parliament, I think this is an opportune moment to come up with a tribute. Rather than use the usual  NuLabour type spin that we’ve all become accustomed to, I thought we’d do it in song!

Enjoy ….

I just couldn’t believe her blaming the SNP for a witch hunt. If anything, the top people of the SNP called off the attack dogs and were working hard to keep her at the top of the NuLabour dung heap. She was fighting a more effective campaign for Scottish independence than the nationalists could ever manage at this point in their grand plan!

Let’s see if any of the NuLabour MSPs want to step into the role of Leader of the Political Wilderness Party. Can’t wait to see NuLabour being decimated in Scotland… long overdue if you ask me. There are one or two of that lot who are skilled politicians and could give Alex Salmond a run for his money, but I don’t expect we’ll see any of them putting their name forward for leader until it looks like NuLabour are turning around their fortunes… so that will be a decade or two then!

My Gran would have been so proud to see the SNP doing so well. She and my grandad voted SNP for years, even during the times when they were nobodies in Scotland. It is just sad that she is only here in spirit .  At least her spirit observed me putting the cross in the correct place at the last elections.

Technorati Tags: Scottish Parliament, So Long Fairwell, SNP, Sound of Music, Wendy Alexander

Poor wee Hazel Blear’s has had her laptop stolen. Normally I’d feel a load of sympathy for someone in this predicament, but not this poison chipmunk (insult borrowed from the NewPortCity blog). Maybe there is some sort of Conservative conspiracy operating this week to get all the NuLabour gingers thrown out of office! I’m just waiting to see some innocent ginger being caught in the cross fire… watch out Chris Evans.

We’re told there were a couple of low level government documents that aren’t really that up to date and have a classification of sensitivity that doesn’t even merit the slightest concern. Surely, the same rules should apply to her as to those civil servants that picked up the “British Rail” sandwich packs and put them away, all the time thinking they were top secret dossiers? Weren’t they instantly suspended pending an investigation? I’ve scoured the news websites, but can’t see any such announcement about wee Hazel.  I’m betting she won’t be doing the honourable thing until she gets pushed of the Brown Express as it leaves Shit Creek Station on the way to Extinctionville!

If she used it for constituency work then there must be data about private citizens on there surely? Could well be a breach of the Data Protection Act here, but where’s the toothless and worthless Richard “ICO” Thomas when you need him? Sounds like a big cover up is going on to keep her in a job.

Hopefully, Davie-Boy Cameron will really hammer home this issue at PMQs this week. Of course, Gordie will mumble something incomprehensible then throw us a clever curved ball about him still having a Home Office Minister, and one at that who doesn’t spitting out dummies and throw rattles out of the pram. Should be an interesting one if I can stay awake.

So what is my request to the thief… please, please give this laptop back to wee Hazel, but do it through a major news organisation that will exam it before handing it back to the NuLabour spin machine. You have a chance to reveal the truth to the world on this and be a big hero. 

Technorati Tags: data loss, DPA, Hazel Blears, ICO, theft