Grumbling Tummy

Imagine being the Libyan leaders bodyguard when someone tries to shoot him and you have to shout "Gadaffi Duck!"

Q. What happens when you mix yellow and blue paint?
A. Yes, you get green!

Q. What happens when you mix Liberal Democrat and Conservative?
A. You get an offer to join the Green Party.

See the Green Party’s offer to LibDem members who feel betrayed by Clegg.

Have the other parties missed a similar opportunity?

Technorati Tags: Clegg, Conservative, Green Party, Liberal Democrat

Let’s take a whirlwind tour of my thoughts so far on the local election communications, a big factor in forming the decision on where I’ll be placing my cross on Thursday… actually it will probably be Tuesday or Wednesday as I’ve got a postal vote.

As someone who voted SNP at the Scottish Parliament election I find myself torn to support the independence cause in the upcoming election! The candidate, Rod Campbell, doesn’t seem to have much attachment to North East Fife. I’m sure Rod is a very amenable professional person but I cannot find evidence of any interest in North East Fife politics, issues or constituents.

Let’s look at his online biography to prove this point:

Rod Campbell is an Advocate. Born in Edinburgh, he was educated at Reading School, Exeter University and the Universities of Glasgow and Strathclyde.

He has a degree in politics and qualified as a solicitor in both England and Scotland. For a number of years he was a partner in an international law firm based in London.

He qualified as an Advocate in 2007.

He is Convener of the Perth South branch of the party and a member of the party’s Appeals Committee. He has fought four previous elections for both the Westminster and the Scottish Parliaments.

Can anyone spot anything about North East Fife in there?

But wait there is some hope in the leaflet that has been coming through the letterboxes of NE Fife:

Rod has family ties to the East Neuk.

WTF does that mean? Did his Granny’s second cousin three times removed go to a dentist who was born in Fife! These kind of statements are absurd and show desperation to put something about Fife into an election communication.

More alarmingly he appears to have his political roots in Perth, not Fife! Perhaps that explains why his election leaflets are being delivered by Royal Mail and not the party faithful of Freuchie and surrounding areas.

What about that leaflet? A generic central office spiel that doesn’t highlight a single local issue. It also doesn’t help that he’s stuck way in the back of the SNP candidates photo which can only indicate the powers-that-be have decided he is one of the also rans with nae chance. It felt like a game of “Where’s Wally?” when trying to find him in amongst the other candidates.

Sorry SNP, your choice of candidate and the ill conceived and lazy election communication suggest to me my vote would not be for a local champion on this occasion.

Similar issues surround the choice of the Labour Party, Mark Hood. He is a councillor operating in Gordon Brown’s constituency. Although he appears to be a capable local politician he does look to be a townie with very strong ties to Lochgelly and surrounding areas – that’s two parliamentary constituencies away! The demographic, rural nature and issues of North East Fife are likely a million miles away from his experience earned as a councillor for Lochgelly and Cardenden.

Goodness, he doesn’t even have a filled in profile page on the main Labour Party website! Doesn’t really fill you with confidence about Mark Hood and his party.

Labour are a tired worn out party who really don’t deserve to be re-elected. There campaign slogan should be tweaked to: “Fighting for OUR future!”

 
This may be slightly irrational but I cannot ever see a time when I’ll be a Tory voter! Like the majority of Scots, we have long memories of how Maggie Thatcher and her cohorts destroyed Scotland, used us as a testing ground for the Poll Tax and the general contempt she had for the nation of Scotland. I also don’t believe in enough of their beliefs and key policies to place my mark in their box.

However, it is only fair to give Miles Briggs the same scrutiny as everyone else! I find his election communication to be a good mix of local and national issues which do at least look like a proper campaign. I’m also personally aware that he has been taking an active role in local issues throughout North East Fife, a big plus point. But it is unclear if he lives and works out of Fife… the election communications is carefully worded to give that impression but he could easily live and operate from anywhere in Scotland!

Finally we come to the incumbent, Sir Ming Campbell. He is one of the most respected politician at Westminster, has a sizeable majority,  is highly respected in the NE Fife community, gives money and support to many local organisations and has a home in the constituency.

His election communications have also been a mix of local and national issues and have been hand delivered by party supporters – how’s it going Ewen!

He sent a letter out to the flood victims of Freuchie Mill following the 2008 floods with some very sound advice. Not really that sure of how much he has done by way of lobbying for flood issues since but he did make a token effort at a time when his constituents needed it.

It is disappointing to see his online resources not being used to put across more of the issues and policies. His main website hasn’t been updated in weeks!

CONCLUSION

Both the Labour Party and the SNP election communications are a massive disappointment and failure. The Conservatives and Lib Dems are showing the others how it should be done.

Sir Ming is certainly well ahead at the moment to win my vote. He’d need to have a “Gordon Brown Bigot” moment to change my mind!

Feel free to try to change my mind by posting a comment!!!

Technorati Tags: bigot, Conservative Party, election, Gordon Brown, Labour Party, Liberal Democrats, Mark Hood, Miles Briggs, Ming Campbell, North East Fife, Rod Campbell, SNP

Whether (Con) Liberal or Labour , I think you’ll get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’

Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night,! he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say’s to his father, ‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ‘

The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’

The little boy replies, ‘The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.’

Technorati Tags: Conservative, government, humour, humor, joke, Labour, Lib Dem, politics

Looks like our MPs need more communications budget to pay for bandwidth! Under the magnifying glass Julie Kirkbride MP has been taken off the Internet as her hosting package doesn’t meet the needs of the electorate. Perhaps fate is hinting at the future awaiting this MP.

  
Screenshot: Julie Kirkbride’s website displays an error

The Lone Voice pointed out earlier that Nadine Dorries’ blog had also fallen off the Internet.

 
Screenshot: Nadine Dorries’ blog 404s

Regardless, I think we should all put our hands into our pocket to help out these public servant… no wait, our pockets have already been dipped by a criminal gang working out of Westminster.

Technorati Tags: Houses of Parliament, Julie Kirkbride, MP, Nadine Dorries, politics, The Lone Voice, Westminster

I can’t believe the media didn’t spot the fact that the Communities Minister, Hazel Blears MP, had a worthless cheque for £13k in her hands the other day! It didn’t have a payee on it!

Still not sure if it is a blank payee?

Looks very much like no payee details!

For Hazel’s benefit, the taxman is called “HMRC” or “Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs”. Heck they probably would also accept “The Capital Gains Bastards”! Here’s hoping she can now finish off that cheque and get it into the post ASAP following my little piece of advice. The country desperately needs this kind of cash in the current financial crisis caused and overseen by the people in power.

I realise many MPs will all be struggling about who collects the taxes of the sheep and plebs so I count this blog post as a public service to the 650 odd “Honourable Members” that attend the mother fucker of all Parliaments, located in that modest wee building in Westminster.

One further tip….Try to avoid numbered Swiss bank account numbers and Cayman Island bank accounts in the payee part of any cheques written out to the taxman.

I really can’t wait for the next general election so the mass cull of all these political parasites can begin.

Technorati Tags: Hazel Blears, HMRC, MP, Westminster

The Barber –
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen different books, such as ‘How to Improve Your Business’ and ‘Becoming More Successful.’

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.

Via: The Lone Voice

Technorati Tags: humor, humour, joke, Parliament

Funny stuff…

Via Pinksy.

Technorati Tags: elf, humour, humor, joke, Obama

This is an interesting article about the current recession and how it won’t end up in depression. Even more interesting is some of the analysis!

Technorati Tags: depression, recession

Earlier today I interviewed Mike Russell MSP, the Scottish Government Minister for the Environment, for Freuchie Flood Action Group at the launch event for the Scottish Flood Forum.

You can read the full story and see the short video here.

Yet again, an SNP politician has left a lasting impression on me.

Technorati Tags: Freuchie Flood Action Group, Mike Russell MSP, politics, SNP

Thanks to the Lone Voice for this one….

Three doctors are bragging about their country’s medical achievements.

The Israeli doctor starts by saying “medicine in my country is so advanced we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him up and looking for work in six weeks”.

The German doctor says “that’s nothing, in Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks”.

Not to be out done the English doctor says, “we can take an arsehole out of Scotland, put him in 10 Downing Street, and have half the fucking country looking for work within 24 hours”.

Here’s hoping the good folk of Glenrothes makes the right choice in a few weeks!

Technorati Tags: funny, humour, humor, joke, politics

Strange how the plot never changes!

Technorati Tags: 2D TV, Gordon Brown, Labour, Tony Blair

The truth is starting to surface about how the British public, and Scottish citizens in particular, have been deceived about North Sea oil. Luckily, the word is out and thanks to the Internet we can find out the real facts and correct the misconceptions that have been allowed to fester for too long.

Everyone should read the Conservative commissioned McCrone Report that was classified as “Top Secret” for 30 years due to its sensitivity. The report and other suppressed and misrepresented facts and figures are available HERE.

Hayley Millar of BBC Scotland recently produced a programme titled, “Truth, Lies, Oil and Scotland”. Her report spells it out and I’ll leave it with you to watch this important investigation, warts and all! More information here.

Spread the word, spread the truth!

Technorati Tags: BBC Scotland, Conservative, Hayley Millar, McCrone Report, North Sea Oil

At last the people of Glasgow East has woken up to New Tories Labour and voted in an MP and a party that truly does care about them.  For those of you who don’t want to know the result, you may wish to look away now! Labour supporters and Gordon Brown may also wish to click away to some propaganda blog saying that this is a vote on the economy, not some kind of referendum on the government.

To summarise the result:

More analysis and information is available on the BBC website.

So the winning candidate is John Mason with a voting swing of 22.54% from Labour to the SNP, but the real winners are the people of Glasgow East. At least the recount called by Magrat Curran and her loser croonies was performed efficiently and quickly!

One of my friends, who has voted SNP a good deal longer than myself, commented a while back on how people in the West of Scotland have a fatalist loyalty to Labour and will often vote for them because their father and their father’s father voted that way. However, tonight they’ve broken the bad habit of many generations and done themselves, their area and the whole of Scotland proud.

Today’s hero

Photo: John Mason MP for Glasgow East

Congratulations and gratitude to my fellow Scottish citizens of Glasgow East for sending a message to the Labour government, who only care about your vote, not you as an individual. John Mason MP will be representing you full time and have the ear of people in Scotland who can make real positive changes for your area.

Now we wait to see the truth behind some of the speculation over the David Marshall resignation that caused this bye-election in the first place! There are some big signs that something is coming down the pipeline about this particular ex-MP.

Technorati Tags: bye-election, David Marshall, Glasgow East, John Mason, Labour, SNP

Anyone wonder why Nu Labour had to go through all those prospective candidates for the Glasgow East constituency before Magrat Curran came riding in on her white charger? It did seem like they couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery as prospective candidate after prospective candidate turned down one of the safest Nu Labour seats in the country.

Perhaps this is the reason they all declined!! All the main names in the frame to be a candidate, including Councillor George Ryan and Councillor Stephen Purcell, Leader of the Council, seem to be listed in that article as being under investigation by the Standards Commission of Scotland.

Wonder why this story got missed by the main stream media? Don’t the people of Glasgow deserve to know this kind of information before they go to the polling booths?

Technorati Tags: George Ryan, Glasgow South East, Labour, Margaret Curran, Standards Commission, Stephen Purcell