Grumbling Tummy

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I’ve been informed that the original news agency report, that was picked up by the main stream press, got some of the facts surround this story a little muddled. This blog post has been modified to reflect the corrections starting to appear from the main stream press. As part of the update, we’d like to point out the originally quoted BBC news article still needs to be modified (as of the 24th May) and instead point you over to the Daily Mail updated story and Guardian article that starts with a correction.

What the f&*k! It would appear we have individuals that brings street dogs from Sri Lanka to the UK. It is bizarre that UK import regulation allows this in the first place when Sri Lanka is a known hotspot for Rabies. Turns out that one of the latest batch of puppies from that very country had Rabies and may have infected three people involved in its care.

One of the individuals involved in this incident also runs a UK charity setup to help animals out in Sri Lanka. It should be made clear that the charity, Animal SOS Sri Lanka, wasn’t involved in this particular case as was reported by the main stream press and picked up by myself and the blogsphere at the time.

Now back to the main points of the blog post that were kicked off by reading the original news reports and remain substantively in their original form regardless of who may or may not have brought the infected animal into the UK….

Woof!

Some important questions I’d like to see answered of those individual who feel the need to import stray dogs:

1. Don’t we have enough dogs looking for homes already in the UK?

2. Why import more from a country that is known to be a Rabies hotspot?

3. Don’t we put down enough dogs in the UK every day because we can’t rehome them?

4. Are the dogs flown into the UK thereby contributing to global warming?

The saving grace behind this story is the UK’s system to keep Rabies out of Britain appears to work a treat. Kudos to the people who thought up our quarantine controls.

Now it is fingers crossed time for the three workers that they don’t go all foamy mouthed and start snarling at passing cars!

Technorati Tags: Animal SOS Sri Lanka, BBC, charity, dog, puppy, rabid, Rabies, Sri Lanka

Don’t know where this "came" from but it is perfect spoiler material!

Technorati Tags: Brokeback Mountain, cowboy, funny, gay, humour, humour

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. .and those who don’t.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health .

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service

Technorati Tags: beer, funny, health, humour, humor, poop, public health announcement,

Poor little Tricia Walsh-Smith is being evicted from her home by her estranged hubby. You’re probably starting to feel sorry for her, but wait… now watch the video.

Did you hear her?

We never had sex… blah! blah! … high blood pressure… blah! blah!

What she doesn’t realise is she has just talked herself out of being married… no divorce for you! Annulment is the way her "husband", and his lawyers, should be heading after her online declaration that they never had sex. The nookie is the final act to consummate the wedding contract you dumb blonde! A point made in one of the replies….

Stoopid bitch!!!

That said, my favourite video reply, which kind of sums up the vast majority of people’s opinions, is this one…

Now for some great words of wisdom …

… and more of the same …

He’s spot on with this being a scary new development in the YouTube world. Insane bitches everywhere will be firing up their webcams as we speak.

Mr Smith’s lawyers are even getting into the spirit of things…

I think that last one is a bit of a spoof.

Here’s hoping we find out what happens as she goes through the court system.

Technorati Tags: annulment, consummate, divorce, revenge, Trisha Walsh-Smith

A Banbury senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car dealership.Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through his grey hair

‘Amazing!’ he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

‘I can get away from him - no problem!’, thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph.

Suddenly, he thought, ‘What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense!’

So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver’s side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, ‘Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.’

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, ‘Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.’

‘Have a nice day, Sir,’ said the policeman.

Technorati Tags: BMW, funny, humor, humour, joke, pensioner, police, speeding

Wikileaks is being pursued by the Church of Scientology lawyers to take down the Church’s copyrighted materials, namely, "Church of Scientology collected Operating Thetan documents". The wiki page also makes for interesting reading, including the desist email from the lawyers! Go get a copy before the craziness wins out!

If there is nothing suspect in this religion then why do they litigate whenever and where ever someone questions their principles or places documents in the public domain! It is like the Christian churches banning the Bible from being read by anyone except practicing Christians or practicing Muslims being the only people who can read the Quran and so on. Religion should be free and open to all! Ironically, the promotional video on the  Church of Scientology seems to promote the very virtues that they appear to be going against in their real world activities in courts around the world!

Personally, I tried to read a few pages then I had a wee rethink about why I was reading this insane waffle full of craziness! No wonder websites like ScienTOMogy.com exist and it explains why South Park has produced quite a few episodes that shows the absurdness of this "religious" cult.

Technorati Tags: Bible, Christian, Church of Scientology, cult, Muslim, Operating Thetan, Quran, South Park, Wikileaks

Robert sent me this image last night.

Someone fill in the hole quick!

Technorati Tags: health, mural, smoking

I cannae believe the Labour Government and the Tory opposition’s views on the Gurkha soldiers who served in our armed forces before 1997, but who aren’t good enough to be citizens of the UK. This is a complete disgrace and should be fixed NOW!

Gordon Brown presented some technicality during PMQs, that made a big deal of 1997 when the Gurkhas moved from Hong Kong to the UK after Hong Kong was handed back to China, or some bullshit along those lines. This is a moral argument Mr B, not some technicality to squirm away from the nation’s moral duty. Now is the time to honour those who would have given their life for our country. Yet another example of the morally devoid / corrupt government IMHO - scumbags!

Technorati Tags: army, Conservative, Gurkhas, Labour, politics, PMQs, Tory

Just as well Barnze lives in Nottingham, as he’d be bang in trouble if he was north of the border! The Scottish Government is looking for comment on their “Consultation on the Draft Cat Welfare Code of Practice: A Consultation Document issued by the Rural Directorate of the Scottish Government“.

Having said that, Section 5 has an interesting sentence:

It may be necessary, in the event of incurable illness, old age or, more suddenly, in the event of an accident, to arrange the euthanasia of your cat

So if the wee felines have a “little accident” then euthanasia is the answer!

But, he’d be getting gang rapped at “Her Majesty’s Pleasure” in Barlinnie Prison based on one of the next sentences:

The cat’s welfare must always come first.

Just bite down hard on the pillow mate and think of England :-).

[Source: The Register]

Technorati Tags: Barnze, cats, cat welfare, humor, humour, Scottish Government

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN’S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay

And finally….. A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

Technorati Tags: dictionary, funny, humor, humour, men, woman

Wee Gordie Brown has set in motion a process that will no doubt end with public service workers getting two percent or less per year for the next three years.

I’m left wondering if the MPs will vote in a similar way, giving themselves well less than 2.8% that has been recommended for them! Let’s see if they can set an example for once…. yeah right! The phrase, “… this may not be appropriate in all cases…” says it all. A get out of jail card for the MPs to feather their own nests as usual.

Technorati Tags: Gordon Brown, MP, public service workers

Now I lay me
Down to sleep
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.

Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.

Please no age spots
Please no gray
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.

Please keep me healthy
Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you’ve done.

Technorati Tags: humor, humour, joke, Lady’s Prayer, prayer

Best wishes for 2008. Hope it brings you health, wealthy and prosperity.

Technorati Tags: Happy New Year

Those of a nervous or biblical disposition may wish to look away now.

Yesterday was a day for buying some bits and pieces from the local butchers - nothing of any real significance there. Well not until the total was tallied up and came to the grand sum of £6.66. Warning number one that reminded me of a sequence of events many years ago, a story we’ll come back to in a moment.

Today saw another alarming moment whilst driving along to the local shop: the trip meter on the car turned to 666 miles. Warning number two in my book!

Perhaps warning number 3 will see the “End of Days” visited upon us! You have been warned and you may wish to reread the Book of Revelations to know what cometh this way. Repent for tomorrow may see the final “666” and you may well be fucked from getting into the Kingdom of God. Or maybe it’s just a load of old bollocks!!!

Now back to the event a few years back…

Dave Barr, a fellow engineer at Motorola, and I flew out to the US for a training course in sunny San Diego. A great time was had by all and we met some very interesting Americans - more of this in a future blog post. With the course over we made our way back to the UK via a two day stop over in Austin, where we visited with our colleagues in the Motorola plant. One evening we thought that it would be a bit different to go out for dinner, so into the car we jumped and with Dave acting as chauffeur we proceed to drive along the streets of Austin and onto the Interstate.

Before long we were struggling to find anywhere to eat, not really that surprising when you consider we were travelling along a motorway class road at 70 mph! About thirty minutes into this futile mission the decision to turn off the Interstate to find somewhere to eat was taken. Steadily the road changed into hick country roads with no street lighting and mile after mile of observable countryside. We must have drove along those roads for forty minutes before come to the alarming conclusion that perhaps we were lost! Just at that very moment, with the car sipping away at the last few drops of fuel fumes and with an intensifying fear of being lost and coming to harm, the road dipped down into “Devil’s Creek”!

I don’t know what made me look at the mile-o-meter at that particular moment or in that particular place, but fate played a cruel trick as it scrolled around to 666 miles. Both Dave and I came across all “someone’s walking over my grave” [shudder]. Needless to say we both thought it was a sign and we’d be unlikely to live through that night!

I was even heard to exclaim, “We’re going to die tonight!”

If memory serves me correct, I’m almost certain that Dave screamed out like a little girl at the thought of dying in hickville with an empty stomach!

Luckily, about 15 miles down the road we found a lone service station that provided the facilities to feed the car with fuel and to get direction back to the Interstate. We quickly made our way back to Austin, ending up at a restaurant only minutes away from the hotel. At least we were safe and sound, well for the time being….

During that trip I was amazed and startled at the lack of security for internal flights! I even commented to Dave how easy it would be for a terrorist to take advantage of this situation. Sadly, a few years later my words came back to haunt the world as we saw 911 change things forever.

Technorati Tags: 666, 911, Auston, Book of Revelations, Dave Barr, End of Days, End Times, Motorola, San Diego, Texas

This arrived in the Inbox this morning and it is placed here for your consideration and to pass along to everyone you know!

See what you think and pass it on if you agree with it
We are hitting 95p a litre in some areas now, soon we will be faced with paying £1 a ltr.

Philip Hollsworth offered this good idea:
This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the ‘don’t buy petrol on a certain day campaign that was going around last April or May!

The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn’t continue to hurt ourselves by refusing to buy petrol. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read it and join in!

Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a litre is CHEAP, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the market place not sellers.

With the price of petrol going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of petrol come down is if we hit someone in the pocket by not purchasing their Petrol! And we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves.

Here’s the idea:

For the rest of this year DON’T purchase ANY petrol from the three biggest oil companies, namely BP, Esso and Shell. If they are not selling any petrol, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit.

But to have an impact we need to reach literally millions of BP, Esso and Shell petrol buyers. It’s really simple to do!! Now, don’t wimp out on me at this point… keep reading and I’ll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!

I am sending this note to a lot of people. If each of you send i t to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)… and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) … and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it… .. THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!

Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That’s all.(and not buy at BP/ESSO/SHELL) How long would all that take?

If each of us sends this email out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! Acting together we can make a difference If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on.

PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE 69p a LITRE RANGE. It’s easy to make this happen.

Just forward this email, and buy your petrol at Asda, Tesco, Sainsburys, Morrisons Jet etc. i.e. boycott BP, Esso and Shell.

This message originally didn’t have Shell on the list of petrol stations to pass by but I’ve amended that to reflect yet another one of the big boys who need to be taught a lesson!

Technorati Tags: fuel protest, oil companies